Thursday, December 29, 2011

The ever-ellusive Christmas letter...

We used to send a Christmas letter out every year. At first, in all honesty, I thought they were incredibly ridiculous. I came from a very small family, everyone already lived through the events of the year, no one needed a note to remind them point to point. However, I married a man from a large family, one that was spread out across Texas and desiring to remain close, by means of the once-a-year Christmas letter. Year after year as letters poured in, I found the Christmas letter writing and receiving to be quite endearing.

A few years ago, as I struggled to compose the letter I came up with the idea of doing a photo montage of the year's events in place of the written details. We did the photo montage, but in the end wrote the letter too. The next year we just did photos, then nothing the following year. This year we did a photo card but no letter.

I am torn. I like the Christmas letters we receive, it is enjoyable to hear how things are going in our friends and our families lives. But sometimes after reading a letter, especially one detailing children activities or how perfect and lovely being at home with their children is, I feel guilty... maybe my kids aren't in enough, are they missing out?!?!? Or I feel terrible that I don't feel so lovey-dovey about being at home... some days are really hard.

A friend pointed out that many times people are pulling out all the good things, dwelling on the blessings of the year. I think that is a good idea, however, I still struggle to write the letter that shares all the good without a balance of the trials. I don't know that receiving the a Christmas letter detailing a life of perceived "perfection" does anything to edify or build up that stay at home mom who is striving to love a curious toddler who is into everything after not sleeping for a month with a colicky infant.

So, here is a simple overview of our life, my attempt at sharing real life here...

Elliott and I started "dating" in late 2010, and it has been a year-long joy to trade date nights with another family every week. At first it was a scheduling nightmare, trying to figure out how to fit one more thing in. We ended up having to drop out of a few things, but it has been well worth it. We didn't date for 10 years of our marriage, but now going on 12 years in a few months, I wouldn't stop if you paid me!

We are working towards "dating" our kids too. Trying to in a semi-scheduled way, spend one-on-one time with each child. Sometimes it means dad takes a kid to Red Robin for a burger (thanks to Groupons!) and a chat. Sometimes it means mom take a kid to run errands. Sometimes everyone else leaves and one of us stays home with a child to work on a project at home. We don't have a good schedule yet. We know when we have gone too many weeks without taking anyone out as the children begin to beg for their time. Elliott and I are encouraged that we are starting to learn who our kids are, what they like, who they might become.

We keep tossing around the idea of making "boy time" and "girl time" but haven't found a good regular time for it. The boys all have golf clubs now (Elliott included), so we hope that they will begin going to a driving range together, maybe work up to a putt-putt course... he he he. The girls have surprised me with how they have really taken off with knitting and crocheting, so we will either stay here and have a treat and craft, or we will take our yarn on the road and go sip coffee and vanilla steamers to do so... this is a work in progress.

We are also trying to be more consistent with reaching out to neighbors. We have been blessed with a street where there has been very little moving. I have caramels sitting on my counter that I plan to cut up and hand out to our neighbors... a little late, but better than never I suppose.

Things we love... being with the church, going to the zoo, the San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo, swimming, taking the RV to State Parks, watching BF Men's Swim Team on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cr_DhhLT4ys), playing outside, building with Legos (older kids), destroying things built with Legos (the two little tornados), feeding birds outside our kitchen window, going on bird walks with our Young Birders Club group.

Things we are thankful for... clean laundry every Monday and Thursday even though I sometimes get behind on folding and kids come "shopping" for clothes to wear out of the heaps and piles living in the family room; dishwashers that never stop running and paper plates for when there is a stack of dishes waiting to go in the dishwasher because I forgot to turn it on when it was full or I turned it on and a little helper found a fork I forgot and opened it to put it in and so it never actually ran; vacuum cleaners that pick up the variety of things tracked in from out of doors; Costco for carrying so many gluten-free and organic foods saving me from driving all over town to feed my family; Amazon.com for carrying everything else.

Hannah turned 10 and is 5 feet tall. EEK! She loves to draw, knit, crochet, bike, be with friends and accessorize (her favorite thing is scarves). She got a face painting kit for Christmas, call and make an appointment if you are hankering to have a rainbow painted on your arm or a dragon, rocket, dog, snake, fish, bear, etc. on your cheek.

Noah turned 8 and is a Lego-building master. He also reads non-stop. He too, enjoys biking and being outside. He went to golf camp this summer and is sure he is ready for the PGA tour now. :) He puts up with me when I make him draw birds, and he is quick to identify them when we go on walks.

Grace turned 6 and is sweet and silly. She is learning to read and I can tell she is very eager to be proficient enough to read a book by herself. Grace enjoys playing with her brothers, swimming, riding bikes and crocheting. She has also continued taking pictures with her camera bought two years ago, and she captures some fun shots of "real life" around here.

Faith also turned 6 and is the taller of the twins. She, too, is learning to read and has excelled in many areas of school. Faith is a big helper and cheerfully keeps her brothers busy when I am needing to do school with the older two. Faith was the first ride her bike without training wheels, and she rides so well, she was also the first to pop the inner tubes! Faith has picked up knitting and is in the process of making a scarf for her doll.

Caleb turned 4 and continues to grow and grow and grow. He is blossoming into a young man, but he still has the residual "cling to mommy" effects from being sick so long. It has been a joy to have no reason to take him to the doctor for the entire year except for a minor procedure to get his ear tubes removed. He loves Legos, and recently has been leaving the Duplos behind in favor of making creations with "real" Legos. He got a Razor and a balance bike this Christmas, so he can sometimes be found driving up and down the hallway!

Micah is 2. I could probably end things with that. He is an energetic little guy, and fast too. You will think he is in the living room where you just saw him but you wonder about that strange sound coming from the bathroom... yep, he is giving himself a bath out of the toilet. Micah amazes us with what he knows how to do, he is the only child in our home that had ever broken a DVD in half, he knows how to turn on the TV and DVD player to watch a video, he tears apart the couch in less than 30 seconds so that he can reenact the BF Men's Swim Team, he climbs to the very top of things only to announce "Watch me, Mommy" and fling himself off of it. Sigh. I am wondering if the decision to put him and Caleb into gymnastics was a wise one...

Elliott keeps busy at What-a-burger as their IT Security guy, he is becoming more and more "Orange" every day. When people look surprised to hear that he works at a burger joint, I joke and say "Somebody has to keep the burgers safe!" He is also very involved in the Sound ministry at our church (www.bfsatx.org) and has been singing in the choir. He loves taking out the RV and spending time in nature with the kids. The techie in him came out, and for our last trip, he rigged up an outdoor movie theatre, it was pretty awesome.

I try to blog, knit, crochet, sew. Mostly I clean, cook, teach, and drink coffee. I got off of Facebook because I was constantly discouraged and comparing myself to others, not to mention the sheer amount of time wasting. I also downloaded Angry Birds to my phone and quickly deleted it for the very same reason. I love being with friends, especially ones who spur me on to love and good deeds. I enjoy being outdoors and hiking, and look forward to doing more and more as the children get older. Did I already mention coffee? This summer (for our anniversary) we bought an amazing espresso-maker, I feel like I live at a coffee bar. :)

We took some big trips this year... the first airplane trip for all but Hannah (who flew two times when she was under 1yo) as we spent a week in Virginia in April to visit friends and go to a wedding. We had a wonderful time and fell in love with the area. Then, in the heat of the summer, I drove all six kids to Nebraska to visit some friends, Elliott flew in to join us for the weekend. Three of the kids ended up with double ear infections and one nearly with pneumonia. It was also the crazy hottest it had ever been in Nebraska. We had to go the Omaha Zoo twice and we still didn't see everything! That was some trip!

Our family has also faced some health challenges this year. I had a pain that began in March and resulted in my having an exploratory surgery done in May, it was another good opportunity to trust in the Lord. As my pain remains with no medical explanation, I choose to remember Paul and the thorn in his flesh which the Lord allowed to keep Paul humble. Elliott's dad had a car accident following a seizure in March, following many tests and surgery it was determined that he had an aggressive brain cancer. We have spent as much time as possible with his parents since then, and it has been encouraging to see our children loving and serving their grandparents. My mom broke a vertebrae in her back a few weeks ago. She is back up and about, albeit feeling "old" (her words).

This year has, at times, felt like a roller coaster of emotions. Through it all, the Lord has been faithful to show Himself to us, to teach us from His Word, and to conform us to His image. So, if you survived this letter of sorts, I hope you do not walk away from it thinking we have it all together. We don't. We are striving to live in such a way that brings glory to God and shines forth the light of Christ to those around us. We fail miserably sometimes (ask the kids) but we are thankful that the Lord gives us the strength to get up and try again.

May your 2012 draw you closer to Christ!

2 comments:

  1. I love your thoughts in this post, and your "christmas letter." I agree with your thoughts about the perfect life portrayed in the Christmas letter--a hard balance I'm sure some try to figure out. I did get a good letter this year that was well balanced; I appreciated that. It was good to hang out yesterday.

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  2. It was good yesterday! We shouldn't let it go so long between intervals!

    I got one letter that made me laugh, it listed so many activities and trips and wonders they all did together and the last line was something to the effect of come by anytime, I can't promise a clean house, but you will be welcome. I laughed... I am considering a sign... "My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it!"

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