Counting down...

Surgery is this week. I am so far not freaking out, but I feel the nervousness mounting as my to-do list is not shrinking as fast as I would like and I am growing more sleepless and restless each day. I have done this my whole life, gotten all excited about a "big day".

Beginning in grade school, I would stay up late going through all my school supplies, checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure I had everything. I did it every year. In college, I did it every semester. I even remember one semester counting each page of notebook paper I put into each class binder so they would each have an equal amount. Yep, no kidding.

And the night before my wedding... same thing... I think I stayed up and watched a movie...
And the night before a c-section... same thing... I packed and re-packed my bags...
And the night before a vacation... same thing... up, puttering around...

And now, it is the week of surgery. I am trusting God completely with the outcome. And in many ways, am calmer about things than I was a few weeks ago. There is much uncertainty this time, since it is exploratory surgery, we don't know if I will face a 2 week recovery or a 2 month one. We don't even know what they will find, mostly because no one is really even sure what they are looking for. And yet, I am ready and trusting.

An amazing thing about being a Christ-follower is that there is peace in the unknown. I don't have to know, I just have to believe God's Word which tells me that not only does He know, but He has ordained this day, and this very trial to be for my good and His glory from before the foundation of the world. I have a sweet friend who always encourages me that I have a wonderful opportunity with the Gospel with medical personnel, mainly because as of late I have had so much interaction with them! But it is a good reminder to me in the moments of "the countdown" to not let my heart be troubled, to not worry about tomorrow for today has enough worries of its own. Instead, I can be preparing myself with the Word of Truth, being ready in season and out of season with an answer for the hope that is within me.

So, I am counting down. I will likely stay up the night before and watch the new BBC Jane Austen DVDs I bought myself at Costco last week. I am going to work on my craft room right now... it is a mess and I am not tired. My mind keeps spinning but I keep telling myself the Gospel. What a comfort the Word of the Lord is, especially when you are counting down... and not just to surgery, but to His triumphant return! Maranatha!