Saturday, May 21, 2011

And the verdict is...

Good. Different. Happy. Confusing. Perfect.

Good because the doctors were able to complete the surgery utilizing the laparoscope versus having to make an open abdominal incision. This is good because my recovery (and limitations) will only be for two weeks whereas if they had been forced to take more aggressive measures, I would have faced a two-month recovery. Good.

Different is because they didn't find anything they expected to. Nearly 3 months ago, I had gone into the ER with severe abdominal pain and a CT scan showed a golf-ball sized mass in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen. However, the surgeon didn't find that. He did find some severe scar tissue adhesions which were twisting and pulling my colon into a "pocket" and left alone potentially would have developed into a bowel obstruction. My insides also looked much better than expected, as in, there was not massive scar tissue covering everything like they have seen in the past. But still, no mass. Different.

Happy because I am in very little pain in comparison to my previous abdominal surgeries. I am in pain. I am taking pain meds. But comparatively, this is minor and I am perfectly content with that. I have been able to sit at the table and play card games with my kids (I highly suggest "Too Many Monkeys"). Happy.

Confusing is due to the fact that near the adhesions that were removed there was a spot where the colon tissue looked quite different from all the surrounding tissue. So, they took a biopsy and I have a two-week post-op follow-up where I will get the results. As well, since the original mass was not located, I am in a "wait and see" place because we don't know if the cause of the pain has truly been located or not. If I remain in constant pain after the surgical pain subsides, I will be going through some more testing, including additional CT scans. Confusing.

Perfect because God is Sovereign. I have nothing to fear because God is with me. No matter what the biopsy shows or whether I have little or no relief from pain, God has been and is using this trial in my life to conform me to His image. I have been forced to evaluate my heart. I have been forced to look at my relationships, both with my husband and children, as well as to neighbors and co-laborers in Christ. As much as I have fought this whole experience, I cannot be disgruntled or upset or allow myself to hang on to anger because this is not "my plan" because if I did I would be missing out on God's perfect will for me, and when I am I must confess and repent for my lack of trust, my lack of faith. This is the path He has chosen for me, He has carved out these moments and days for me to learn endurance in the faith, to grow in trust and to seek Him in His Word. I wouldn't want it any other way. Perfect.

1 comment:

  1. and it all is very understandable. so happy to see you at church this morning.

    ReplyDelete