Making changes...

Sometimes I notice that I am struggling in an area and I pretend it is not there and that it is not real. Sometimes I find an area that is a trouble for me and I ignore it hoping I will figure out how to change it despite the fact that I am doing nothing about it. Sometimes I notice that I am struggling in an area and I radically cut off the bad thing and substitute it with something else, hopefully better.

Change # 1 - Kill Angry Birds
So, a friend told me about Angry Birds. I laughed the first time I saw someone play it. My kids thought it was fun. I downloaded it. For the kids. I thought. But then, I tried to help a kid navigate a scene. Big mistake. I was hooked! I was also AWESOME at it! And the competitive drive in me was on full throttle. I found myself playing it all the time. I found myself getting frustrated by how long it took to load, thus taking away from the time I could play it! Then, yesterday came. I played it so much I missed out on doing read-alouds with the older four while the younger two napped... then I was grumpy and snappy at bedtime because the house got trashed while I played it, not to mention my difficulty is sharing it with the kids wanting to play because I was "so close"... then, after the kids were in bed, I lost over an hour I could have been knitting, or reading, or cleaning, or sleeping, playing the game AGAIN! It was nuts. I was obsessed. It was not pretty. So, after having only been downloaded for a week, it had to go. I thought about just "hiding it" but then I realized I would know where I hid it and I would go play it. I didn't realize I was so weak. But then I was reminded from God's Word that I need to be on guard, watching and praying that I will not fall into temptation (Matthew 26:41, Luke 22:40), and yet I had downloaded temptation to my phone!

Change # 2 - Cut off my Face (book, that is)
I love being with people. Being a stay-at-home mom with six little loves that I homeschool usually keeps me from too much regular contact with people over 5 feet tall. Many of my friends have moved away, some to overseas locations. Enter Facebook. At first, I thought Facebook was weird... "listening in" so-to-speak, on people's lives. People I am "friends" with who I only have a casual acquaintance with or that I was friends with lifetimes ago and otherwise would not have contact with... but then I started enjoyed the little breaks I would take to catch up on Status Updates (some people would call them potty breaks...) and would even try to make some clever update in 160 words or less from my phone. I loved the convenience of having all my friends so easily accessible, I especially love the inbox since I don't have to remember people's email addresses to send them a note. But, I was struggling to find balance. I was finding I was having a hard time being content; other people's lives seems so much more fun, their dinners more tasty, their children involved and doing so well in their outside activities. I was finding that checking statuses was becoming an all day thing, I couldn't wait to see who would post what next, even when I was driving. I began hearing my children say things like, "Ohhhh, Mom's on Facebook again..." and my heart would break as I thought of the many more edifying things they could be saying if that were not true. After months, and I am not kidding here, MONTHS of feeling a pull in this area to make a change, I made it today. The Angry Birds scenario acted like a stick of dynamite showing me how far off course I had become with regards to outside things taking me off the narrow path. How often did I wonder what someone might have posted on Facebook before I wondered what I might glean from God's Word today? How many times did I get distracted by responding to some post and lost my opportunity for quiet time while the kids were still asleep? So, in a radical, Matthew 5:29-30 way, I am dropping off the face of Facebook. For now, I will just exercise self-control to not log in. I will uninstall the application from my phone. I will respond to in-box messages and likely still send messages through there, but I will not open it or update statuses or read statuses. If I sat down with a pen and paper I could come up with many benefits of Facebook. I do not think Facebook is inherently bad. I have realized that I am lacking self-control in this area and that I am forsaking many opportunities throughout the day, with my Lord in prayer and meditating on His Word, with my children and with my husband. So, if you need me, call me.

Change # 3 - Go to bed earlier!
I have always been a night owl. And now I try to wake up every morning between 5-6am, for quiet time and potentially a little workout. Staying up until midnight or 1am does not mix well with this, especially if you stir in two or three kids waking up needing to go potty or having to deal with nightmares. This one is new... there is less to ponder here, less to explain, it is a simple math problem. It is impossible to get 6-8 hours of sleep if you are only in bed for 4-5 hours.

And, since I have learned not to make too many changes at any one time if I hope to be successful, I will stop with those. Though, I have no doubt, there will be more to come.