Disappointed contentment...

You may think that my title is an oxymoron, and it is. But then again, really it isn't. One is an emotion and one is a choice. One begins the drag down into despair and the other reminds me to change my perspective to the things that are above. 

Our house has been chaotic for two weeks. It was supposed to end yesterday. And when it didn't, I kind of expected it. And when the work got started today well into the afternoon, I wondered but remained hopeful. And now, the house is quiet and the concrete floors still greet me, and I began to feel the pull of disappointment. I really wanted to start putting my house back together today. I really wanted to be done coordinating renovations and spend my time focusing on my kids and playing with them. I really want to not have people I don't know overhearing every single conversation I have with each of my children. 

But, then I reminded myself that the main reason that the work is behind schedule is because the man doing the work has such an exacting eye that he won't move on until the work is perfect (this is a total answer to prayer since he is correcting poorly done work from 7 years ago). And an hour of nearly every day has been cleaning up after himself which has greatly reduced the mess that I am just now beginning to reckon with. Through eyes clouded with disappointment over missed deadlines, I can choose thankfulness that the Lord provided us family men to work on our projects, that they have been kind and patient as my inquiring children follow them around, that even in moments of distress or discomfort they have not uttered one foul word (at least none I have heard). 

And most of all, when I sense a disappointment coming on, I can remind myself that the Lord graciously allows me to plan my ways, but He alone directs my steps. Each day of this renovation has proven to be quite perfectly sanctifying, it hasn't been easy or fun, but it has shown me my wretched heart and drawn me to my knees, causing me to be thankful for the finished work of Christ. 

A few more things to clean, preparing for Operation Restoration tomorrow, and then to bed for me. I am thankful for God's gifts, that come in all shapes and sizes and situations, and I am rejoicing this evening in the blessing of contentment.