Speechless...

Sometimes I don't know what to say. Many of you are wondering if you are reading the right blog. "Denise never is without something to say," you might be thinking. But I assure you, it does happen. Rarely, but it does. :)

Elliott's dad is dying. I feel like I am running out of answers to the question, "How is James?". And yet I get asked all the time lately. I am so thankful for the concern of so many precious friends, I just don't know what to say sometimes. For a long time we have been operating in crisis mode, event to event. We had update after update, new information to share, but now we are just slowing chugging along in a downward, relatively predictable trend. He is dying. We are accepting it.

Tonight I began reading Sunsets: Reflections for Life's Final Journey by Deborah Howard. I cried. I feel like I do that so much these days. The tears are not from deep sadness. Instead, facing death makes life seem more real. Decisions made while we are alive determine where we spend eternity when we die. Elliott and I feel at great peace knowing that James was saved in March 2011. We smile slyly at each other every time we hear how when he grows anxious or can't sleep he asks for the Bible to be read aloud, watching him seek after comfort from the Word is so sweet to behold. Our joy over James' salvation also serves to remind me about the family and friends and neighbors who are not yet following Jesus Christ as Lord.

So, I sit hear speechless, complete and polished thoughts seem to be out of my grasp. I am thankful for Romans 8:26-27:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.