Five months ago I decided to tip-toe back into the world of social media and open up a Facebook account. My previous one had been deleted two years ago, but due to a variety of reasons I thought it was a good idea to give it a "go" again.
When I started back onto Facebook I was encouraged to see that I wasn't struggling with contentment like I did when I hopped out of social media two years ago. In the past, I found myself feeling left out when I saw posts about trips to the park that I wasn't invited to, or would be discouraged to see friends' "perfect days" displayed in adorable Instagram-filtered living color. I have found it easier to rejoice with those who rejoice this time around, and I worked hard to measure my words to not be a stumbling block to others where I had previously had difficulty.
Yet, being on Facebook again has had its share of new challenges. Even though I worked harder than before to keep Facebook time down, I still found I was sneaking away to my bedroom to check it when I should have been reading aloud to the kids. I made "rules" for myself to help in allotting appropriate time to staying in touch, but it didn't take long until I broke them. When I would become overwhelmed with my day, instead of going to God's Word or stopping to pray, I would pull up the Facebook app and scroll through to see what was new in the lives of my friends or what words of wisdom were posted by the various pages I "liked".
I also found myself relying on Facebook for all my interpersonal news, instead of being purposefully relational. No need to email or call or text, just go look on so-and-so's timeline, if they are struggling or hurting, they will let the whole world know, right? The artificial reality that I found Facebook to be in the past, remained, and it still made me sad. I don't know how to truly pursue 137ish relationships with on-line friends without forsaking the face-to-face relationships with my children, my husband, my neighbors. I found walking the fine line between informing people about my life and sounding boastful paralyzingly difficult. I considered having a Facebook account and just not logging in, but then, what is the point of that? Really?
So, this week I decided to delete my Facebook account. I was surprised to find it was a great relief to make that decision. I know it means that I will have to work harder at keeping touch. I hope that it will free my mind up from little one-liners and blogging will resume, fleshing out whole thoughts versus coming up with clever ways to describe the mundane. I haven't been on my phone much, since there is nothing to really check on, and I actually couldn't remember where my phone was twice today which was kind of nice. I am happily faceless*. Again.
* I do not think Facebook is all bad, I just have not been able to be a good steward of my time. I admire those who can balance being involved in people's lives on Facebook and managing their real lives. I have failed to do well at that, twice now. If you need me, E is on Facebook.
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