Lately I have found myself to be in a grumbling sort of mood. It is not a pleasant thing for me (or anyone else around me, for that matter), nor is it a healthy reflection of my position in Christ. The worst part is, I don't know how I got here... I think I have been slowly fading into this funk through the last two months.
So, when I find myself struggling in this area, when I am grumbling or murmuring, the first thing I need to do be honest with myself. I need to admit that I am in sin. In the ESV, Philippians 2:14 says, "Do all things without grumbling or questioning." A long time ago I posted this verse for the children in a sort of paraphrase, taking the major translations and inserting in all the different words use, "Do all things without complaining and arguing, murmuring and disputing, grumbling or questioning." Listing all the synonyms kind of wipes out any escape hatches for me to use.
Identifying my sinful tendency is not enough. Once I see it, I have to do something about it. I have to humble myself and beg God for His forgiveness, especially because when I am choosing ingratitude and grumbling I am questioning what God calls good for me. If others are the recipient of my resulting bad mood, I have to go to them and ask their forgiveness for not having a joyful heart, or worse, for my harsh and quick responses.
Just yesterday I decided to do something radical about it. I asked a friend to hold me accountable to sending her a list of seven things each day I can be thankful for, or that I recognize as blessing. The whole idea is inspired by Ann Voskamp and her little booklet to record 7 gifts a day, 7 days a week. I can't tell you how long ago I printed off copies of this (it would be too embarrassing), but I am finally using it. I recognized that my thinking has shifted away from thankfulness and gratitude, so some re-training is necessary.
So here are my seven things I am thankful for today:
8. A sweet friend who was willing to swap kid-sitting so we could each go to appointments alone
9. Cooler temperatures this morning (low 80's) so I could weed my front flower beds before breakfast
10. My husband who works hard each day so I can stay home with our children
11. French press coffee in a beautiful mug from Poland
12. Children who are striving to work diligently and joyfully at chores around the house
13. French toast and sausage for dinner and other quick to prepare meals for busy nights
14. Bright sunshine illuminating the beauty of God's creation
I am reminded of the line from an old hymn, "Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your blessings, see what God has done"... I am wondering why it ever took me so long to start counting...
** The above list was edited to reflect that I am counting up my blessings... no content was changed.**
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