Things I know...

Recently I have been struggling to accept the path the Lord has been leading me down. It is not the path I want to go on. I am acting like a 3-year-old who doesn't want to go to bed (kind of like how Caleb acted tonight). I am stomping my foot and shaking my fist.

But, it isn't doing any good.

And the sad thing is, I know it won't either.

Just like my children should know that their defiance and disobedience will not sway my decision or command. And they should know that my request is made in their best interest. To protect them, to see them grow, to bless them. And yet, intellectually I know it is the same with my Heavenly Father, so why am I stomping my foot and shaking my fist instead of joyfully submitting to His will? Why do my children resist that which I, or Elliott, have deemed good for them?

Because I don't like it. I look ahead on the next few steps planned out for me and I don't like where it takes me. I know in my head that God's plan is good for me, but I can't see the good through the trial and I am scared of the pain. Again.

I have spent many days crying and complaining and wishing it all away. Yet, I have found no relief, or comfort, or peace. Why? Because God doesn't give peace to the rebellious, but to the submissive. God doesn't comfort the one running away from Him, but instead welcomes the child returning to Him, repentant and broken.

Tonight I have chosen to remind myself of some things I know, but as of late was having trouble putting into practice. What do I know?

• I should meet this trial with joy because it will be a blessing to me. (James 1:2-4)
• God has planned this day and this trial I am facing, He has known about it since before the creation of the world. (Ephesians 2:10)
• God has designed this very moment in my life for my good and His glory. (Romans 8:28-29)

And so, I will stop shaking my fist and will open my Bible. I will stop stomping my foot and instead will sit at the Master's feet. I am broken. I confess the stubborn rebelliousness in my heart, that I was allowing fear to cripple my ability to trust in God's perfect plans for me. I will remind myself of the things I know, and submit myself wholly to God's will for me, joyfully.

What do I know? God is good and does good. And I am thankful.