Tuesday, March 29, 2011
And she disappears from blog-land... again...
The past week has been incredible, a little insane, and quite unpredictable. So, that explains my absence from the land of blogging. It also explains why I will have to be gone for a little while longer... I feel it is best if I get my house back under control before I spend too much time sitting on the couch, sipping coffee and chatting with you all out there on the world wide web. I hope to be back soon!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Borrowing trouble from tomorrow...
I love illustrations. I don't mean that I enjoy comic books or must only have books with pictures in them. Instead, I am talking about word pictures. For example, I know that the Bible talks regularly about being anxious and how we should not fear. But honestly, I don't find myself often "afraid" in the sense that I am worried about some eminent physical danger. Sometimes, but not often, and so I risk not really understanding what God's Word has for me, the fullness and richness of this command.
And yet, as I read in Matthew about how the Lord describes His care for us, giving us reasons to not be anxious and fearful, I am reminded that while I may not have outright crippling fear of some imposing danger, I do often find myself overcome with the "what ifs" in life.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." This comes after Jesus has described His Heavenly Father's perfect care for us in Matthew 6:25-33, how greatly God cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field and yet we tend to worry about what we will eat or what we will wear.
And there it is, a word picture which helps me to evaluate my heart in light of this Scriptural command. Even though I am not regularly looking about me with fearful trepidation, I am reminded how I will stay up at night wondering about upcoming events. I work through the different scenarios of how something might happen, and what my reaction should be to each different possibility... and there I go, borrowing trouble from tomorrow. Using up my opportunities to trust and serve the Lord today, where He has placed me for this very specific moment, to plan out my "right" reactions and responses to some unknown future possibility.
Do I think it is wrong to work through scenarios and plan out my responses? Not entirely, but I think an exercise like that is best used on thinking through and planning situations that you are certain to face, like how to help one of your children as they deal with conflict with a sibling or friend. Or thinking through how I could be more loving to my husband and think through ways I could be more sensitive to his needs and model an honoring and respectful tone for my children. Or considering how I would best encourage a friend who is struggling or facing difficulty in their marriage, parenting, other friendships.In fact, I think praying about, studying for and working through those scenarios are very good uses of my time.
Where do I borrow trouble from tomorrow? When I am waiting for a medical test and I am already thinking through my responses to hearing the different possibilities of outcomes... what if they find nothing... what if they diagnosis me with XYZ... what if it is cancer? Or when we consider looking at a property or house to buy and I immediately begin planning and stressing about how to make my house "show ready" to sell, and yet, we haven't even touched base with a Realtor, we have just seen a few photos.
No matter what the situation is, if I notice that I have become obsessed with answering questions that have no real concrete base for even being asked yet, I see that as borrowing trouble. And trouble it is too, as it steals my mind away from clearly thinking about my daily responsibilities, it places a focus on myself and self-sufficiently addressing the "issue" without relying on God. I usually lose sleep over these imaginary scenarios, as well as even noticing that I will lack patience with those around me (usually the children or my husband) because my mind is so entrenched in the unknown.
Then I remember, Matthew 6:34 and the preceding verses and I am reminded that God's perfect care for me will not allow one hair on my head to be touched without His ordaining it. Other verses reminding me about His good plans for me from Jeremiah, Romans, James, God's promises come flooding over me, reminding me to trust and not fear, believe and not grow anxious, have faith and quiet my heart, trusting wholly in the One who knows the end from the beginning.
Instead of being anxious, I must turn my sights on being thankful for the perfect care from a Holy Father who knows all and does all things well. And so, this morning, I turn my sights to focus on what the Lord has called me to, today.
And yet, as I read in Matthew about how the Lord describes His care for us, giving us reasons to not be anxious and fearful, I am reminded that while I may not have outright crippling fear of some imposing danger, I do often find myself overcome with the "what ifs" in life.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." This comes after Jesus has described His Heavenly Father's perfect care for us in Matthew 6:25-33, how greatly God cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field and yet we tend to worry about what we will eat or what we will wear.
And there it is, a word picture which helps me to evaluate my heart in light of this Scriptural command. Even though I am not regularly looking about me with fearful trepidation, I am reminded how I will stay up at night wondering about upcoming events. I work through the different scenarios of how something might happen, and what my reaction should be to each different possibility... and there I go, borrowing trouble from tomorrow. Using up my opportunities to trust and serve the Lord today, where He has placed me for this very specific moment, to plan out my "right" reactions and responses to some unknown future possibility.
Do I think it is wrong to work through scenarios and plan out my responses? Not entirely, but I think an exercise like that is best used on thinking through and planning situations that you are certain to face, like how to help one of your children as they deal with conflict with a sibling or friend. Or thinking through how I could be more loving to my husband and think through ways I could be more sensitive to his needs and model an honoring and respectful tone for my children. Or considering how I would best encourage a friend who is struggling or facing difficulty in their marriage, parenting, other friendships.In fact, I think praying about, studying for and working through those scenarios are very good uses of my time.
Where do I borrow trouble from tomorrow? When I am waiting for a medical test and I am already thinking through my responses to hearing the different possibilities of outcomes... what if they find nothing... what if they diagnosis me with XYZ... what if it is cancer? Or when we consider looking at a property or house to buy and I immediately begin planning and stressing about how to make my house "show ready" to sell, and yet, we haven't even touched base with a Realtor, we have just seen a few photos.
No matter what the situation is, if I notice that I have become obsessed with answering questions that have no real concrete base for even being asked yet, I see that as borrowing trouble. And trouble it is too, as it steals my mind away from clearly thinking about my daily responsibilities, it places a focus on myself and self-sufficiently addressing the "issue" without relying on God. I usually lose sleep over these imaginary scenarios, as well as even noticing that I will lack patience with those around me (usually the children or my husband) because my mind is so entrenched in the unknown.
Then I remember, Matthew 6:34 and the preceding verses and I am reminded that God's perfect care for me will not allow one hair on my head to be touched without His ordaining it. Other verses reminding me about His good plans for me from Jeremiah, Romans, James, God's promises come flooding over me, reminding me to trust and not fear, believe and not grow anxious, have faith and quiet my heart, trusting wholly in the One who knows the end from the beginning.
Instead of being anxious, I must turn my sights on being thankful for the perfect care from a Holy Father who knows all and does all things well. And so, this morning, I turn my sights to focus on what the Lord has called me to, today.
A new plan...
Every morning I ask the two oldest to read from their Bibles, write down something from what they read and pray for three people. Lately I have been less than patient with the statement, "but I don't know anyone to pray for..."
So, each day I will remind them of all the different groups of people they could choose from, our church family, our physical family, our neighbors, missionaries we know, our President, our country, and so on and so on and so on. But the next day, it is the same thing.
And while this idea of not knowing who to pray for was plaguing me, I heard a friend who is serving in the mission field share how thankful they are to know people are praying for them. At the same time, I was feeling convicted in my own prayer life of inconsistency and forgetfulness.
Then I had an idea.
I made a Prayer Calendar.
Yep, a chart.
Shocking, I know.
I even came up with "themes" to keep our prayers sort of focused, and to help us not "forget" anyone. It is just a guide, a tool to help us remember. If needs arise and they don't fall into the "theme" of the day, we will spontaneously pray, just like we do today. The whole idea of this Prayer Calendar is to ensure a more consistent approach to remembering our prayer concerns and for teaching our children to think more broadly when they are tempted to say "but, I don't know who to pray for..."
I am planning on keeping a copy in my Bible to help guide my personal prayer times to be more consistent. I will post it at the older kids desks for them to use in their personal prayer time, and in the kitchen so we can pray as a family with more depth at meal times.
I am excited.
Now, if I could only figure out a color scheme.
Just joking... kind of...
So, each day I will remind them of all the different groups of people they could choose from, our church family, our physical family, our neighbors, missionaries we know, our President, our country, and so on and so on and so on. But the next day, it is the same thing.
And while this idea of not knowing who to pray for was plaguing me, I heard a friend who is serving in the mission field share how thankful they are to know people are praying for them. At the same time, I was feeling convicted in my own prayer life of inconsistency and forgetfulness.
Then I had an idea.
I made a Prayer Calendar.
Yep, a chart.
Shocking, I know.
I even came up with "themes" to keep our prayers sort of focused, and to help us not "forget" anyone. It is just a guide, a tool to help us remember. If needs arise and they don't fall into the "theme" of the day, we will spontaneously pray, just like we do today. The whole idea of this Prayer Calendar is to ensure a more consistent approach to remembering our prayer concerns and for teaching our children to think more broadly when they are tempted to say "but, I don't know who to pray for..."
I am planning on keeping a copy in my Bible to help guide my personal prayer times to be more consistent. I will post it at the older kids desks for them to use in their personal prayer time, and in the kitchen so we can pray as a family with more depth at meal times.
I am excited.
Now, if I could only figure out a color scheme.
Just joking... kind of...
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Little things...
I am trying to teach myself to enjoy the little things. I fear that all too often I allow the little things to slip by unnoticed, or even worse, to be annoyed by them. Today I chose to smile at the little things. A few little things from today:
- On a birding walk with my oldest two this morning, Noah left some of his friends to walk down the trail holding my hand and then he even asked me for a kiss.
- Micah has three words. Mama, Baby (pronounced Bay-beh), and Bye-Bye. He got a new stuffed puppy dog this afternoon and needed to name it. We were about to name it "Woof" thinking it would be a great boy-name for a dog when he began running around with it screaming out "Bay-beh". So, now that is its name. I imagine Micah will change the name when he finds a new, more masculine word, like "truck".
- While at a public restroom with Caleb as he started to wash his hands, he put his hands up to the sink and the water came on automatically. Caleb immediately said, "Thank you water."
- When we told the kids that we purchased airline tickets last night for a trip to Virginia to visit some friends and attend a wedding, we started getting the questions... "Is today the day we go on the plane?!?!?", "Ok... tomorrow?!?!?"
- During prayer tonight, Faith thanked God that tomorrow was Sunday and that we would be able to go to church.
- No kids came down after we put them to bed. :)
Pressing forward...
Despite a myriad of tests, I know nothing very concrete. I am thankful for what I do know... God is good. God is in control. God already knows.
The coming weeks will hold more doctor appointments, more tests, more waiting. Ahead are days filled with more opportunities to walk in faith, trusting the truth of God's Word that even this, this trial of physical pain, is for my good and His glory. I am thankful that through this trial, I will be more conformed to the image of my Lord and Savior. That is something worth pressing forward for.
The coming weeks will hold more doctor appointments, more tests, more waiting. Ahead are days filled with more opportunities to walk in faith, trusting the truth of God's Word that even this, this trial of physical pain, is for my good and His glory. I am thankful that through this trial, I will be more conformed to the image of my Lord and Savior. That is something worth pressing forward for.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Not my plans...
Nothing has gone according to my "new plan" this week. Except for the children knowing what is expected of them for independent work (the green on the chart in the post below), we have done little nothing else that I had planned.
Sunday night I was attacked with an incredible pain in my stomach. A stomach bug has been going around, so at first I thought I was about to be the next victim. So, I readied myself with a bucket and slept on the couch so as not to disturb Elliott's sleep if I ended up getting up and down a lot. By Monday morning the pain was no better but I had still not succumb to the "bug". It was decided because of my multiple abdominal surgeries (7 in the last 9 years; 3 in the last 18 months) I should go to the ER, knowing I would end up with some testing looking for an obstruction or adhesions causing problems.
Monday I was in the ER from 10am-7pm. At the end of the visit I found out there was nothing "scary" going on but that they had no idea what was going on. There was something that showed up on the CT scan that should not have been there which led to my calling my favorite doctor Tuesday morning. He insisted on needing to see me... so that will be Thursday.
Needless to say, this is not the week I had planned when I sat down Saturday and planned our new schedule. Nor is it the plan I had when I gave the kids a pep talk on Sunday night about the new exciting order of our day. But again, I am reminded of not only Proverbs but also of Isaiah 55:9 - "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Considering this, I strain forward, relying on the Holy Spirit to give me gentle words as I deal with my dear children. This definitely does not come easy for me, much less when I am ridden with physical pain. And so, I remember that the Lord's strength is perfected in my weakness. Praise the Lord.
Sunday night I was attacked with an incredible pain in my stomach. A stomach bug has been going around, so at first I thought I was about to be the next victim. So, I readied myself with a bucket and slept on the couch so as not to disturb Elliott's sleep if I ended up getting up and down a lot. By Monday morning the pain was no better but I had still not succumb to the "bug". It was decided because of my multiple abdominal surgeries (7 in the last 9 years; 3 in the last 18 months) I should go to the ER, knowing I would end up with some testing looking for an obstruction or adhesions causing problems.
Monday I was in the ER from 10am-7pm. At the end of the visit I found out there was nothing "scary" going on but that they had no idea what was going on. There was something that showed up on the CT scan that should not have been there which led to my calling my favorite doctor Tuesday morning. He insisted on needing to see me... so that will be Thursday.
Needless to say, this is not the week I had planned when I sat down Saturday and planned our new schedule. Nor is it the plan I had when I gave the kids a pep talk on Sunday night about the new exciting order of our day. But again, I am reminded of not only Proverbs but also of Isaiah 55:9 - "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Considering this, I strain forward, relying on the Holy Spirit to give me gentle words as I deal with my dear children. This definitely does not come easy for me, much less when I am ridden with physical pain. And so, I remember that the Lord's strength is perfected in my weakness. Praise the Lord.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Could this be it...
As our family ebbs and flows, grows and changes, so does our schedule. However, even though I could go onto my computer and look at the multitude of schedules we have enjoyed over the past few years, I somehow forgot recently that schedules aren't static, that even the most "perfect" ones won't remain perfect forever. I think I forgot because for nearly six months we had one that fit so well.
When things began going awry, I first thought to blame the kids for being off-task. I then blamed myself, I obviously was not staying on top of the kids enough. And then, this past month or so, we have had activities which have uprooted us from our little perfectly designed (and color coded) system. In the last two weeks we have been trying to get back on schedule and nothing seems to fit anymore.
So, last night, after having mulled over the struggles in my mind, Elliott and I were able to discuss some of the challenges I was facing as we chatted over bun-less burgers on a date. I asked him to point out some areas where he thought maybe I was expecting too much, or where maybe he could see the kids slacking up, or where my expectations were too high. We also had to address the two littlest, our little tornadoes of activity, and be creative in finding ways to accomplish school and keep them from killing themselves or burning down the house.
Here is the plan. Some of you will laugh, as it is here in all its color-coded wonder (Blue is "everyone", Yellow is "with Mom", Green is "independent"). I will let you know how it goes. My humble attempt at Proverbs 16:9.
* As a side note... not all things are done all days. I am not a total task-master. :) If you saw each child's daily checklist you would notice shaded blocks which tell which days were associated with which assignment. The above is what I am calling "The Whole Flock Daily Schedule".
When things began going awry, I first thought to blame the kids for being off-task. I then blamed myself, I obviously was not staying on top of the kids enough. And then, this past month or so, we have had activities which have uprooted us from our little perfectly designed (and color coded) system. In the last two weeks we have been trying to get back on schedule and nothing seems to fit anymore.
So, last night, after having mulled over the struggles in my mind, Elliott and I were able to discuss some of the challenges I was facing as we chatted over bun-less burgers on a date. I asked him to point out some areas where he thought maybe I was expecting too much, or where maybe he could see the kids slacking up, or where my expectations were too high. We also had to address the two littlest, our little tornadoes of activity, and be creative in finding ways to accomplish school and keep them from killing themselves or burning down the house.
Here is the plan. Some of you will laugh, as it is here in all its color-coded wonder (Blue is "everyone", Yellow is "with Mom", Green is "independent"). I will let you know how it goes. My humble attempt at Proverbs 16:9.
Hannah / Noah | Grace / Faith | Caleb / Micah |
7:30am – Wake Up | 7:30am – Wake Up | 7:30am – Wake Up |
7:45am – Breakfast | 7:45am – Breakfast | 7:45am – Breakfast |
8:30am – Morning Chores | 8:30am – Morning Chores | 8:30am – Morning Chores |
9:00am – Walk/Outside Time | 9:00am – Walk/Outside Time | 9:00am – Walk/Outside Time |
10:00am – Family Worship | 10:00am – Family Worship | 10:00am – Family Worship |
10:30am – Begin School | 10:30am – Begin School | 10:30am – Begin School |
Quiet Time | Quiet Time – ABC Bible | Quiet Time – ABC Bible |
Handwriting | Picture Books | Picture Books |
Math | Finger Songs | Finger Songs |
Drawing | Calendar | Calendar |
Grammar | Bible Memory – L.I.G.H.T.S. | Bible Memory – L.I.G.H.T.S. |
Copywork | Handwriting | Free Time |
Explode the Code | Math | |
Recitations / Memory Work | Drawing | |
Spelling | Alpha Phonics Lesson | |
Reading – Assigned | Explode The Code | |
11:30am – Mom Reading | Free Time | |
Tales – Narration | ||
Geography | ||
12:30pm – Lunch | 12:30pm – Lunch | 12:30pm – Lunch |
1:30pm – Mom Reading | Piano Practice (15 minutes) | 1:30pm – Micah Nap / Caleb Free Time |
World History | Free Time | |
American History | ||
Science | ||
Writing – Narration | ||
3:00pm – Afternoon Chores | 3:00pm – Afternoon Chores | 3:00 pm - Afternoon Chores |
Piano Practice (15 minutes) | Handicrafts (20 minutes) | Free Time |
Handicrafts (20 minutes) | Free Time | |
Free Time |
* As a side note... not all things are done all days. I am not a total task-master. :) If you saw each child's daily checklist you would notice shaded blocks which tell which days were associated with which assignment. The above is what I am calling "The Whole Flock Daily Schedule".
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