A little catching up...

I haven't been the best at blogging regularly for awhile now. I am hoping to do better in the coming months. Until then, here's a quick little photo update from the last few months. 

While we were waiting for our house to finish being built, we checked on it every Sunday after church. This time the kids played king of the gravel pit! 

The girls and I went exploring in downtown Franklin one Sunday afternoon... only to find out that in small town in the south nearly every shop was closed. So we took pictures instead. 

A Trader Joe's impulse buy turned into a wonderful, and beautiful, horticulture experiment while we were living in temporary housing in Franklin, TN.

Exploring a new nature park on a cold and rainy day. The different mosses and lichen that were growing in the dampness of new rain was spectacular.

Salamander egg sack. SO COOL!!!!

Everyone together for a trip to our new science museum. 

Our newest family members, our adopted kitties... Aslan is on the left, and Apricot is on the right.

Sleepy kitties...

Some Mother's Day silliness... at least they bought me Paleo donuts from Five Daughters Bakery first.

More donuts... this time for National Donut Day.

The kids and I traveled to Virginia and spent a week with friends doing science experiments. They videoed nearly everything, but thanks to Hannah, I have this awesome photo of an experiment they did burning different salt compounds.

Fourth of July, downtown Franklin style.

We had the opportunity to go watch fireworks in downtown Nashville, from the 21st floor of the "Batman Building". I've never been that close to a fireworks display before, nor have I ever been eye-level. It was an incredible experience.

Some fun, new artwork. Come over and see it in person! :)

A view of the sunset from my bedroom window last night. There is so much beauty here.

A clean kitchen counter... a rare sighting around my house. But a beautiful one when it happens.

23,000 pounds...

I have been striving towards a practical version of minimalism for the last few years, yet despite my purging and efforts not to buy new things, the stuff we brought with us to Tennessee weighed 23,000 pounds. And I have the joy of unpacking all 23,000 pounds. And trying to figure out where the 23,000 pounds of stuff should go. And mentally calculating how many more pounds we would have moved had I not been culling through things the last few years.

It's a mental game for me, trying to figure out how to find new homes for old things. The spaces in our new home are laid out very differently than in our last home, though I love the feel and layout of our new home. Unpacking is going slowly because I am trying to be thoughtful. Some days are like a rollercoaster, as counters get cleared off only to be cluttered again as I unpack another box or realize that some place I put something didn't work out and needed to be pulled out. Other days the kids need to play more than I need to organize and strategize the unpacking.

I am looking forward to finishing the living room so that we can have a space to relax and recharge in. Then I am planning to finish the bedrooms. The loft and office scare me (if I am being honest), and the boys have no interest in unboxing Legoland in the basement (they have interest in playing with the legos, just not unpacking the fifteen or so boxes their boxes of Legos and buildings are currently residing in).

Some of you are more seasoned in the moving business. Any tips? How do you figure out where to put stuff in a new space? How quickly do you get things unpacked and put away? How much do your kids help in the process?

Fun times ahead...

Our first full summer in North Texas is upon us, and my house is still not fully unpacked and organized. My biggest temptation is to do nothing except piddle around the house until everything is just right. However, no sooner does that thought come into my mind, than the reality of six active, fun-loving, adventure-seeking, busy kids comes crashing down on me. And in an effort to make our summer more fun than doldrum, and after being inspired by a dear friend, I made a little chart that we can check off as the summer progresses. I'm hoping it will act as motivation to get out and do some fun stuff. And I love checking things off!

Now, for those of you who think I'm being a tad too optimistic... I did cheat just a little when I made this list. We decided not to take a traveling summer vacation this year. Instead, we have planned a "stay-cation" and a good handful of the things on our list come from those 8 days, as we explore our city and the surrounding area.

If you'd like to join us for any of these fun activities, we'd love to have you! The more the merrier! :)

When you don't know what to say...

You may have noticed my absence in bloglandia, but then again, I'm not sure anyone reads this, so you may not have. :) Whatever the case, after our move I just couldn't find the words to describe the myriad of emotions swirling around in my heart. I still can't nail them all down, but I'm finally ready to talk about one aspect of this move that has been the hardest.

Moving is hard in many ways. Physically it is demanding as you pack and sort and move things into place. Mentally it is exhausting as you run through to-do lists and figure out all the nuances of your new area. Emotionally you face the sorrow of missing family and friends, of your routines and comforts of "home".

I've struggled to write anything here (though I've tried and deleted a number of posts) because I didn't know how to be honest about the depression that I have been fighting ever since our move. I've gone through nearly a hundred hours of Biblical Counseling training, I've counseled friends fighting depression, I've read the books on Christians and Depression, I honestly believe and trust that God has placed us here, and been gracious in so many ways here. But I've still fought it. And like any war, I've won some battles, and lost others.

The truth is, I have good days and bad days. The truth is, I recognize with all my heart that we are right where the Lord wants us, He orchestrated this move, He gave us our home, He placed us in a part of town that is close to so many things that it's sometimes embarrassing to talk about because I feel so richly spoiled. But there is also the truth that I left some of the most amazing people in the entire world; friends who would drop everything to come cry with me in sorrow, encourage me in trials, minister to me in suffering, laugh and tell silly stories with me over coffee, and our families who we'd normally not go more than a few days without seeing. And to a girl who didn't have a true friend in the world besides her mom until her late twenties, leaving my home and friends was like cutting off my right arm. And maybe my left arm too.

Today was a bad day, I physically couldn't get out of bed until almost 11am, and even when I did finally drag myself out from under the covers, I didn't actually get dressed for another 4 hours. I have no idea if my children did any school work today, for most of the day I didn't care, if there had been a deep dark hole away from everything, I would have crawled in it. I knew I couldn't stay there, so I spent a lot of time reminding myself of all the blessings we have, recounting all the ways the Lord has shown Himself faithful, trying to pull myself out of my "funk". And then there was this "ah ha" moment. Immediately, I recognized the pattern of my "ups and downs" on this journey, and it was a comfort to see the hope ahead.

After visiting a few churches in our first month here, Elliott and I decided on the church we wanted to attend, and recently went to the New Members Class and we are pursuing membership. We feel home at this church, I even found a "loud" friend, as well as an older woman I feel comfortable being transparent with, Elliott has even met a few guys, and the kids are settling in well. Tonight, we were scheduled to have one of the Pastors come over to share our testimonies and ask questions, and I was really excited to have them over. But when I awoke feeling that anvil of depression, I really begged God to show me why. It was then that I realized that joining a new church was a step towards settling here, which naturally means saying goodbye to a piece of home. That's when the lightbulb went on, and I saw the pattern, that even in blessing, every event that makes our new city feel like home means that I am having to let go of a little piece of "back home", and my heart aches.

I don't imagine that recognizing this pattern will mean that the hard days will magically disappear, but I do think that God allowing me to see this pattern was a gift. God showered His grace on me when I needed it most, reminding me that He brought us here, encouraging me that when you love well, there will be sorrow in loss, but also showing me that He is moving here, changing me, and holding me close. Tears will still fall, but He will comfort. 

For my "back home" friends, I hope you know that our doors are always open and there's lots of fun stuff to do here. For my "new home" friends, I'd love to have you over for a coffee. :)

How we got here...

For 37 years, I lived less than 25 miles from where I was born. Try as I might to convince my mom to put in for an overseas job, we never moved. All through college, I dreamed about striking it out on my own, but I never left my home. In the early years of our marriage, Elliott and I discussed where we would be willing to move, and where we'd never want to move, and yet we stayed close. After we started our family, moving away was pulled off the table, we settled in and got comfortable. We were surrounded by friends, and family, and God blessed us with amazing neighbors as we rooted and grew in our little home in Cibolo.

I never thought it would happen in a million years, yet it did, God showed us it was time to move. It started in the Spring with a prompting in my heart to encourage Elliott to find a position he could be passionate about, even if that meant moving. And then, the Lord tested my resolve for the next six months, as opportunities rolled in from New York and California, New Jersey and Kentucky, Dallas and Los Angeles. Some days, my heart was excited about all the new possibilities. Other days, I felt paralyzed not knowing how to live in the now while we waited for news on the future.

One July morning, as my heart was heavy from the months of waiting and the weeks of excitement (Elliott had been flying to a handful of final interviews), I was pulling weeds in the front yard and I cried out to God for answers. I told God that I didn't care what the answers were, I prayed for Him to make our path straight, to give us clarity and direction. I never could have imaged what would happen next...

Tuesday, July 14th, was the morning I prayed in the garden. Less than an hour later, Elliott texted that he didn't get the Kentucky job. The news took my breath away, but I immediately thanked God for His quick answer to my heart-felt prayer. A little while after lunch, Elliott came home early. We were leaving for a vacation the next day, so I assumed he came home early to help pack. But I was wrong. He was fired. Again, shock hit me, but it didn't take long for me to see this news as God further granting my request for clarity and direction. An hour later, Elliott got a call for a lunch meeting with a company in Dallas. We were going to Dallas the next day for vacation. God's mercy and kindness was overwhelming to me, we still didn't have all the answers, but we could see God moving.

Elliott had a great lunch with the folks in Dallas, and even got a call the next day for references. Before we headed home from our vacation on Sunday, we drove around to a few suburbs I had checked out on the web to see where we would want to live if we got the job. We expected to hear a decision by Monday, so when no call came, we both felt a little crushed and disappointed. I realize now what the Isrealites must have felt like, seeing the LORD be faithful to rescue them through the Red Sea to then doubt His care for them as they grew hungry and thirsty.

Tuesday, July 21st, the call came in, and Elliott accepted the position in Dallas. They offered us a generous relocation package and we had to get things moving quickly because Elliott needed to report to work in three weeks. I had already been plodding along to get the house ready to put on the market, now it was just a matter of getting it listed and jumping through the hoops of the relocation. By Sunday, we had all our kids tucked away with friends and family and Elliott and I hit the road on a house-hunting trip.

We saw two homes Sunday night and had a full slate of homes to see on Monday. We saw some lovely homes that were just not "us", and then we saw some awful homes, and a few in between. Then, we opened the door to our last house before lunch and we both knew, this was the house. We were like giddy school kids, we had our realtor call while we stood in the kitchen. There was another offer on the home, they'd take offers through 10pm. We were in a bidding war. We made our offer, even wrote up a little note about what a blessing it would be to our family to be chosen, then we went to lunch, and prayed and prayed. It was a long night of waiting.

Tuesday, July 28th, our realtor called us before 7am to let us know that we had won the bidding war. The house was ours. My head was spinning, I felt so overwhelmed with thankfulness. It was such a relief to know that even though we would initially move into temporary housing, God had already secured a home for us in our new town. Now we needed to get home and sell our house.

We met with one of the relocation realtors as soon as we drove home on Wednesday, we finished getting the house show ready, had photos taken on Friday morning and we were on the market by 11:30pm Friday night. We had only one showing on Saturday at 12:15pm. But that was all we needed because we had a solid full-price offer by Saturday night.

Tuesday, August 4th, our home in Cibolo was under contract. We were just in awe of all that had occurred in the previous three weeks. We knew that God was orchestrating it all, and though my heart ached with the weight of leaving my amazing friends, and saying goodbye to family, I couldn't help but be excited for all the LORD would do in our lives in this move.

We lived in temporary housing for three weeks. We shared a stomach bug and one child got to experience the local urgent care after catching strep throat. But even still, life in close quarters was pleasant and felt more like a vacation than a trial most days. I made the trip home to meet the movers, and clean the house. God showered me with kindness, as friends stopped by with coffee and helped clean bathrooms. When I finally closed the door and whispered goodbye to my house of nine wonderful years, tears fell, but excitement also swelled in my heart, seeing God's continued faithfulness to us.

The last seven weeks have been a blur. This is our fourth week being in our new home, and while we are mostly out of boxes and have already had two different friends spend the night, we still have some settling to do. Our afternoons are predictable with gymnastics and TaeKwonDo schedules. We visited a small handful of churches and have recently decided where we will settle and plug into ministry. God has shown us mercy upon mercy, we are awed daily by His lovingkindness towards us. Tears still fall when I realize I can't just trip across town and have coffee with a friend. I miss my mom, I've never in my life gone this long without seeing her, and I think the hardest part is not the amount of time but the not being able to just drop in and visit on her couch. Even so, God has given me a peace that we are where we are supposed to be, and for that, I am thankful.