A few weeks ago, life was feeling rather overwhelming. No matter how much I cleaned the house, it was dirty. No matter how much laundry I did, there was more. No matter how long I stood at the sink, there was always another dirty dish. The toy I had just picked up was back on the floor, and it had brought three friends with it. Sigh.
I was searching for joy in the midst...
I was trying to find some way to balance creating order from chaos and yet not elevating my desire for order into an idol...
I was trying to be a relaxed mom, letting her children be creative and imaginative without constantly stopping them to clean up what I perceived as useless mess (they saw a great battlefield from WWI or an oil spill to clean up or a dog park/circus)...
So, having done what I could with house chores, and choosing to let the children play, I sat down at my computer to create some order. In my lack of concentrated computer time in recent months, I had taken to a very bad habit of saving everything to the desktop of my computer until I could no longer clearly discern what the image on my background was. Seeing that I was completely failing at making things neat and tidy in my home, I transferred my efforts to my computer. What happened next was so awesome, I am still enjoying the benefits today.
I made a file on my desktop called "Everything in its Place". From there I decided on categories... Paper Crafts, Handicrafts, Food, School, Church, etc. Then I made subfolders... Paper Crafts - ToyMaker, Paper Crafts - Made By Joel, Handicrafts - Crochet, Handicrafts - Embroidery, etc, etc, etc. I started unraveling the virtual dumping ground of my laptop disorder. Once I started it took two days of concentrated effort... but now it is lovely. I can find anything. I never thought looking for a file could be so relaxing. Go on, ask me where I keep the registration forms for the Homeschool Choir... :)
Next, I plan on embarking on some sort of photo refiling system, grouping photos by general family, friends, child... that could take years...
And yes, you still have my permission to laugh... Elliott hasn't stopped laughing yet... but I really think he is jealous... ;)
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
As the week spins by...
In the last two weeks, I spent a 4-day get-a-away retreat with my first two homeschooling mom friends, I hosted my first week of co-op and homeschool choir at my home, I got on a plane to fly to California to hop in a car and drive back to Texas, I hosted a party for a friend starting a home business and did all the other normal stuff needed during the week when running a household of 8.
I took a moment to sit down and marvel at how wiped out I am, and how long my to-do list for preparing for tomorrow still is. Moments like these leave me feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. But then I remember how good that is for me. Left to myself, I would be self-sufficient and operating completely on my own strength. Without the weakness of my flesh, my thoughts would be far from God. In His kindness, He allows for my back to ache, for my mind to dull and for my eyes to droop. God lovingly draws me to Himself as He shows me how weak I am, and how mighty He is as I turn my gaze from the piles of my circumstances to the beauty of His perfect plans for me.
Tomorrow I will teach 19 children (and their moms) how to make something lovely with two pieces of felt, some thread and a needle. A friend of mine will lead 44 children in making a joyful noise with the voices God has blessed them with. My neighbor (and precious friend) will teach my children (and me) about literary elements using our favorite picture books.
And while I hope to get the floor mopped and the laundry off the couch, among a list of other things... I am instead thinking about what will please the Lord more - my clean house, or a heart devoted to doing His will (even in the midst of messes). Maybe my messes will help someone see that we are real... maybe when things are "perfect" people can't see Christ as easily as when I am more honest about my struggles to "get it all done"... maybe the challenge is for me to be kind and loving to my children even though the messes are big and the clock is ticking... no matter what the scenario, I can be confident in this one thing, that God will use the circumstances, the messes, the trials of the day, to conform me more into the image of His Son, and that is good.
I took a moment to sit down and marvel at how wiped out I am, and how long my to-do list for preparing for tomorrow still is. Moments like these leave me feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. But then I remember how good that is for me. Left to myself, I would be self-sufficient and operating completely on my own strength. Without the weakness of my flesh, my thoughts would be far from God. In His kindness, He allows for my back to ache, for my mind to dull and for my eyes to droop. God lovingly draws me to Himself as He shows me how weak I am, and how mighty He is as I turn my gaze from the piles of my circumstances to the beauty of His perfect plans for me.
Tomorrow I will teach 19 children (and their moms) how to make something lovely with two pieces of felt, some thread and a needle. A friend of mine will lead 44 children in making a joyful noise with the voices God has blessed them with. My neighbor (and precious friend) will teach my children (and me) about literary elements using our favorite picture books.
And while I hope to get the floor mopped and the laundry off the couch, among a list of other things... I am instead thinking about what will please the Lord more - my clean house, or a heart devoted to doing His will (even in the midst of messes). Maybe my messes will help someone see that we are real... maybe when things are "perfect" people can't see Christ as easily as when I am more honest about my struggles to "get it all done"... maybe the challenge is for me to be kind and loving to my children even though the messes are big and the clock is ticking... no matter what the scenario, I can be confident in this one thing, that God will use the circumstances, the messes, the trials of the day, to conform me more into the image of His Son, and that is good.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Laughter is the best medicine...
Tonight a handful of friends came over for a 31 Purse Party at my house. It was a simple, small gathering of a few good friends. There were cookies and coffee, chips and salsa, fruit and lemonade. And there was laughter. Lots of laughter. It was awesome.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
If I look at you funny...
... when you mention something like "I will see you Friday!" and I ask you "Why?", don't despair! I haven't really forgotten what is going on Friday... I am just living out the passage from Matthew 6:34:
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.By Friday, I will know why I am going to see you... promise. :)
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
A repentant heart...
Sometimes I just get too busy to take the time to slow down and kneel.
Sometimes I forget how much I still need the Savior on a day-to-day basis.
Sometimes I can't remember the last time I humbly cried out to the Lord.
... a little grumble here...
... a slightly irritated tone there...
... a moderately raised voice...
... a quiet murmur of displeasure...
... a twinge of discontent...
Individually the above are seemingly insignificant, even normal in the "everybody has a bad day now and then" sort of way. If dealt with immediately, an admittance of guilt and a humble plea for forgiveness, they are forgotten. But as each sin snowballs into the next, and repentance is delayed, then the urgency for it dulls, the pressure and weight becomes overwhelming.
Was it my pride saying "I can do it faster/better/nicer"?
Maybe it was my selfishness crying "Why can't I even go to the bathroom alone?"
Perhaps it was an over-full schedule and an under-energy mom...
Too many night-owl nights and early bird mornings resulting in too little sleep?
No matter the reason, I made a choice to set aside the things that I did at first (Revelation 2:5) and my joy was seeping out. And as the pressure became unbearable, I remembered the call of King David in Psalm 51:12a - "Restore to me the joy of your salvation" and I cracked. I wept and repented, I saw my sin of self sufficiency in all its ugliness and I begged for the Savior's mercy upon me.
And here I stand, broken and thankful, quieted and repentant, hopeful and praying for tomorrow and for opportunities to not delay, but instead for humility and the grace to seek reconciliation and peace with those who share these four walls with me, and for friends who have been good to pray as I have struggled. More than anything, I am humbled and grateful for a God who seeks the lost to save, and leaves me not to my own, but lovingly disciplines as He would a beloved child (Proverbs 3:12).
Sometimes I forget how much I still need the Savior on a day-to-day basis.
Sometimes I can't remember the last time I humbly cried out to the Lord.
... a little grumble here...
... a slightly irritated tone there...
... a moderately raised voice...
... a quiet murmur of displeasure...
... a twinge of discontent...
Individually the above are seemingly insignificant, even normal in the "everybody has a bad day now and then" sort of way. If dealt with immediately, an admittance of guilt and a humble plea for forgiveness, they are forgotten. But as each sin snowballs into the next, and repentance is delayed, then the urgency for it dulls, the pressure and weight becomes overwhelming.
Was it my pride saying "I can do it faster/better/nicer"?
Maybe it was my selfishness crying "Why can't I even go to the bathroom alone?"
Perhaps it was an over-full schedule and an under-energy mom...
Too many night-owl nights and early bird mornings resulting in too little sleep?
No matter the reason, I made a choice to set aside the things that I did at first (Revelation 2:5) and my joy was seeping out. And as the pressure became unbearable, I remembered the call of King David in Psalm 51:12a - "Restore to me the joy of your salvation" and I cracked. I wept and repented, I saw my sin of self sufficiency in all its ugliness and I begged for the Savior's mercy upon me.
And here I stand, broken and thankful, quieted and repentant, hopeful and praying for tomorrow and for opportunities to not delay, but instead for humility and the grace to seek reconciliation and peace with those who share these four walls with me, and for friends who have been good to pray as I have struggled. More than anything, I am humbled and grateful for a God who seeks the lost to save, and leaves me not to my own, but lovingly disciplines as He would a beloved child (Proverbs 3:12).
Saturday, September 1, 2012
When you build...
... build art and make mosaics for an art gallery
... build fast, your favorite thing in less than two minutes
... build structures and pick where you want to see them displayed on a map of the USA
... build friendships, visit soda shops, dog shows, hair salons
... build big, a wobbly tower over four feet tall
... build smart and get expert advice from grown-ups who get paid to play with little plastic bricks all day long
... go on an excursion to Austin to attend LEGO KidFest bright and early on a Saturday morning and be happy your name was never one of the ones announced as a "Lost Parent"
... build fast, your favorite thing in less than two minutes
... build structures and pick where you want to see them displayed on a map of the USA
... build friendships, visit soda shops, dog shows, hair salons
... build big, a wobbly tower over four feet tall
... build smart and get expert advice from grown-ups who get paid to play with little plastic bricks all day long
... go on an excursion to Austin to attend LEGO KidFest bright and early on a Saturday morning and be happy your name was never one of the ones announced as a "Lost Parent"
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